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Unpacking Our Attachment to Attachment Concept

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Attachment theory“—which purports that individuals method relationships with both a “safe,” “anxious,” or “avoidant” attachment model—is without doubt one of the methods we are able to analyze how we operate in our closest relationships. There are many online attachment theory quizzes that attempt to give perception into why we behave the way in which we do, however in accordance with Love Understood ($18) creator Laura Mucha, filling out a fast questionnaire will not essentially provide the full image.

“People are difficult and we can not adequately summarize the whole lot about the way in which you’re a relationship from a very quick, pithy on-line quiz,” says Mucha. “Attachment principle, as good as it’s in so some ways, is just one facet of issues. And there are many other ways of how we’re in relationships. And so you do not wish to basically scale back the whole lot to 1 principle.”

That is the crux of the most recent episode of The Effectively+Good Podcast. In it, Mucha chats with hosts Kate Spies, Ella Dove, and Taylor Camille to interrupt down what attachment principle is, in addition to the extent to which we are able to use it throughout our personal self-analyses.

The essential premise of attachment principle “is that we’re not all the identical with regards to relationships [and] that we’ve got sure methods of being that affect {our relationships} in numerous methods,” says Mucha. Your attachment model is claimed to develop throughout infancy, by way of your bond along with your main caregiver, and dictates how we understand ourselves, others, and the world. By means of this, it helps us resolve which relationships are value pursuing.  “It turns into a part of who we’re and is a part of our persona,” Dina Wirick, PhD, a licensed medical psychologist who has completed analysis on attachment principle, beforehand informed Effectively+Good. 

In keeping with Mucha, there are just a few other ways you may decide your personal attachment model. A method is self-tests, that are questionnaires that you simply fill out your self. One other is Grownup Attachment Interviews, which contain a reside interview and take over an hour to finish. The solutions can differ from check to check, so Mucha says to have take into consideration your outcomes as an alternative of merely accepting them at face worth.

“The easiest way of your outcomes is to suppose, ‘That is fascinating. How does that resonate with me? What about that feels true? And what about that does not really feel true?’ With out seeing it as completely definitive,” she says.

To be taught extra about every of the three attachment kinds—and discover out whether or not or not you will have the facility to alter yours—hearken to the complete episode on AppleSpotify, or wherever you get your podcasts

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