One concern with the query of “how a lot intercourse is sufficient intercourse” is that it locations the deal with the fallacious factor, in accordance with Zimmerman.
“I imply, what counts as intercourse anyway? For those who’re centered on ‘the act’ (no matter that’s for you) and the frequency of such, then you definately’re centered on the fallacious factor,” she says. “It’s not nearly ‘getting it achieved’ or checking the field. The purpose of intercourse, from my perspective, is to share pleasure together with your associate and to really feel related within the course of, it doesn’t matter what you do together with your physique components and what the tip result’s.”
It’s much less about whether or not you and your associate are partaking in a sure act a sure variety of occasions. It’s about how related the 2 of you’re feeling and the way a lot pleasure you’re attending to take pleasure in in your relationship.
So with that in thoughts, Zimmerman recommends asking your self a extra necessary query: Am I (and is my associate) having sufficient pleasure and connection?
“Contemplate whether or not you’d like extra pleasure and whether or not you’re feeling sufficient connection in your relationship. And ask your associate about whether or not they’d like extra of these issues,” she explains. “If that’s the case, prioritize that.”
That may imply having more sex more often, or some other variety of methods to creatively bridge the gap. The purpose, because it all the time is in terms of intercourse: simply deal with doing what really makes you and your associate really feel good.